Developing Self-Esteem is the Answer to Giving Up Negative Addictions

15136706069_c05e3d5454_zMy feelings are that a person is born with innate characteristics, such as a sense of self-worth. As the person grows, environmental factors such as society, family, teachers, or peers can help the person’s self worth either grow and develop fruitfully or be weakened.”

“Self esteem, like so many other characteristics, can be learned or unlearned. Yes, we are born with our personalities, but through time, growth and experience, these can be altered through learning, attitude, motivation and inspiration when external forces work on internal forces.”

“In the event of a person being born with a chemical imbalance, which predisposes him/her to anxiety or depression, we must make a shift in thinking. A person with an anxiety disorder or depression may have to work a bit harder to find happiness and a sense of self-worth, but these certainly are treatable conditions and the person can still live a wonderful life of high quality.” K.C. Kelley

Addictions are the bandage covering the wound of not feeling worthy. I just discovered in 2010, that my primary addiction was to my family of origin—the family I grew up in. I have a picture of myself at age 5 which is about when I started thinking that I was terribly unfit to be in this family. There was always fighting, drama and violence. We had our loving times, too. I believe that my parents did the best they could. When describing those years, I love what ACA says about The Problem: “This is a description, not an indictment.”

But until I began healing my painful self beliefs, my self-confidence was very fragile. As I allowed those beliefs to change and become my new foundation, I became a person unafraid of what harm anyone could do to me. After i learned to love all of me, I was able to accept the rejection of others. I saw that they were just like me–they were only rejecting themselves. All hatred is really self-hatred.

I love group therapy because I believe all mental health to be transitory. So someone in a group is well at any given time. It is like a football we pass around. Sometimes we are “it” and sometimes we’re in a crazy zone.

In the self-discovery model of group healing, everyone in the group is a student. The sharing of power in relationships defines the health of the relationship. No hierarchy is needed when people enter groups to help each other. The leadership of the group can be shared by all on a rotation basis.

The group members in the self-discovery group must agree to follow guidelines that the group chooses. The main goal of the group should be short-term with the idea of splitting up to form new groups. Some people may choose to recycle–repeat the same group–before branching out to their own group. After 2-3 times recycling, the other group members may help with the formation of new group to a group member who needs more support.

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All the Resources Available on This Blog to Help You Develop Self-Esteem

foamThis is an index of the resources available on this blog to strength and develop your self esteem.

Quotation I use for Changemaker-

“It is the courage to be open and loving which is the manifestation of underlying strength and power. And it is only in embracing the possibility that you have a Higher Self that knows how to love, that knows truth within, that is truly powerful, that you can begin to face and dismantle the false beliefs of the protected self, the ego. You can’t begin to look at these and deal with them if you don’t believe there’s anything else. You can never move into the feeling of personal power until you recognize truly that there’s a peaceful place within you that is already there, that doesn’t have to be fixed.”
Jordan and Margaret Paul

The Changemaker Test:

I wrote this test in 1992 and it will give you or anyone 10 of your personality labels. It includes labels from NLP (neurolinquistic programming, birth order, family roles, emotional energies, and MBTI (Myers-Briggs Type Indicator).

Changemaker Test, Answer Sheet, and List of Answers

Changemaker Test Explanations

These individual topics:

A-Z Link Directories: A-Z links directories each have one topic with links arranged alphabetically about that topic.


Being Present

Change Tips

Check Your Codependency

Commitments to Growth

Feelings Are Our Friend



Retrain Your Brain

Self-Esteem Groups

Simplify Life

Weekly Goals

When Life Turns Dark

Your Core Issues

The 12 Week High Energy Plan:

All 12 weeks of hot links are posted on High Energy Life 12 Week Plan. They are also given on my main blog, Emotional Sobriety. Daily we are experiencing an overload of information. We have become accustomed to “sound bites”. So the High Energy Life Plan contains many descriptive links so you may use the individual information that you choose.

So instead of publishing a book for you, we have published all the information links that you can choose to create your own, individual book to use for your High Energy Life.

Each week has individual choices for food/diet choices, exercise choices, and emotional/mental techniques for stress reduction. All the pretests, measurements, references for each of the three categories (diet, exercise, and emotional/mental tools) are given.

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